Cats

Commander John Shepard is a dog person, not a cat person.

With dogs, mostly, he likes the idea of the phrase 'man's best friend'. A dog's loyal, if you treat it well, no questions asked. The big ones can be damn good soldiers, too, which Shepard sees as a bonus for any creature. There's not too many dogs left, anymore, since they don't take to being offworld very well. There were a couple little packs of strays that used to wander one of the Citadel Wards, but some Batarians found out that doc meat isn't half bad, and they're all gone, now.

Varren are almost as good as dogs, Shepard thinks, just a bit more aggressive. Not necessarily a bad thing, when you're a Spectre. That's why he keeps that one he got on Tuchanka, Urz, around his Citadel apartment. Urz isn't too high maintenance, and he seems to like the quiet of a Presidium apartment, a nice break after his long pit fighting career. There's a Turian kid that lives not far from Shepard's apartment, and Shepard pays him to take Urz out on runs when he's out doing Spectre things, or when his battle wounds are giving him too much trouble.

Cats, they're a whole different story. They're so small, Shepard's always afraid he'd crush them if he held them, which is the same reason he doesn't hold his space hamster much. They're a lot more complicated than a dog, more aloof. Less interested in socialization, from what Shepard's seen, kinda shy usually. Good warriors, he'll admit, but a cat only fights for himself. Shepard can respect that, but that doesn't mean he approves, even when it comes to an animal.

They've done well enough offworld, with a small but notable feral cat population on the Citadel its self, hiding away from the danger of the various races inside the workings of the station its self. The cats are almost as bad as the space rats, stealing food and leaving messes in dark corners of the station, and they can't eat space rats like they can Earth rats, even. Space rats are dextro-amino, and the cats learned right fast that eating a space rat is a damn bad idea. Fatal, even.

So, of course, when the Turian kid brings a box of kittens to Shepard's door, the Commander isn't all that pleased. The kid found them when he was out with Urz, taking care of the varren while Shepard sleeps off the pain. Shepard's head's throbbing and he doesn't want to argue. He agrees to hold onto the kittens until he can find them a permanent home. The kid puts the box of kittens on the coffee table in front of the sofa Shepard's been napping on and leaves.

He doesn't figure there's much to do with them until he's woke up by a little calico kitten crawling on his face, and the whole box is making a damned annoying noise, all the kittens mewing as loud as their tiny mouths can manage. He tries to play with them, do anything to get them to shut up. He can't figure it out, and he's calling Traynor an hour later, desperate for help. She's on shore leave, luckily. She actually laughs at him, but she comes on over to his apartment and brings some supplies, and leaves with one of the kittens, an all black one, for herself. Soon enough, he's passed out on the sofa again, with four little kittens curled up right next to him.

He's not sure how long he slept, when Liara wakes him up. There's that calico kitten, sleeping on his face again, and she licks, then bites, the Commander's nose before she crawls off of his face. When he sits up, he notices Urz curled up with two of the other kittens, and the fourth, a grey tabby, has taken a big interest in Liara. The Asari doesn't seem much surprised, seems Traynor told her of Shepard's cat problem. She talks with Shepard a bit, and he finds out the Normandy'll be back in a few weeks, and he's to go back on active duty and resume his command, finally. Six months, sitting around on his ass after the defeat of the Reapers, six months of feeling useless. He's got these kittens still living in his apartment, though. He asks Liara to help him out with finding homes for them before he's got to go back to the Normandy, and she agrees. Better, she takes the grey tabby with her when she leaves, telling him that EDI will appreciate it.

There's a Salarian that shows up, a couple days later, inquiring about a kitten. Shepard doesn't think he fits the qualifications to own a kitten, and sends him away. A human couple, the next day, and the man reminds him too much of Udina (well, they've got the same hair style, at least, sort of) and he sends them away, as well. Wrex sends him a message, another few days later, asking if Shepard thought a kitten might be good for baby Mordin, and Shepard's response is, oh God, no. Liara stops sending people over, after a a dozen potential kitten owners declined over a week and a half, and Shepard's still got three not quite-as-little kittens by the time the Normandy docks.

Shepard doesn't answer the door when James Vega comes calling. The Lieutenant's got access, though, and opens the door himself, after waiting a few minutes. The apartment seems deserted at first, and no one answers Vega's weary call of "hey?". He feels a little anxiety building in his chest, worried something's happened to Shepard, and it's all too possible, too many variables. Too much lost, during and after the war, to lose more now, and it's always a fear on everyone's mind.

Fortunately, it doesn't take Vega too long to find his Commander. Shepard's in his bedroom, passed out on the bed. Urz is right up on the bed next to him, head resting on Shepard's side and one of the his back legs is dangling off the side of the mattress as he snores. One of the kittens, orange tabby, is sleeping on top of the varren. The calico is right next to Shepard's head, her forehead pressed up against the Spectre's. There's the last cat, black and white, sleeping on Shepard's feet. It's an odd sight.

Urz ruins the image pretty fast, though. He smells Vega, and he's pushing himself off the bed, knocking the tabby to the floor and accidentally kicking Shepard. He bounds across the room and puts his paws on Vega's shoulders, slobbering on Vega's t-shirt and face as he greets his second-favorite human. Vega laughs, pushing the varren down. Shepard sits up, looking disoriented for a moment before he spots Vega, then offers the other a weary wave in greeting.

"Didn't think you liked cats, Loco."

"I don't. Do you think anyone would mind me keeping kittens on the Normandy?"